The Two Most Powerful Words To Reverse the Insult "You're too ________!"

Ever been told: "You're too sensitive." Or, "You take things too seriously." Or, "You're too..." available, short, tall, thin, fat, happy, dramatic, too picky, too silly, old, young..." (Not all in one comment like that, hopefully.)

It's a sly insult. Know how I know? 1) They're starting with "you're", and it's not a compliment.

2) The snide tone in the person's voice.

3) Without the "too" it would come across a-ok. Watch this: If someone said in appreciation, "You take things seriously" or "You took me seriously." You'd feel good. If they said, "You took me too seriously." You'd feel confused and embarrassed.

So. Here are two powerful words to say in response to a too: "For you."

As in: "I'm too sensitive for you."

Too is an indication that it’s "too" something for the other person. Not for society in general. They are not speaking for anyone but themselves. Bring it down to size that it's a preference of just two different people.

Them: “You’re making too big a deal.” You: “It is a big deal... to me.”

Them: "You're being too silly." You: "I am being silly. Maybe too silly for you, but not too silly for me."

(A small note: "It's too..." is okay and way different than "You're too". "It's too hot" or "It's too loud" implies it's not about you, it's about their preference.)

I'm just so tired of seeing people, especially women, second-guessing how they feel. When someone says you're too sensitive, for example, it's usually in response to you expressing hurt. Now on top of feeling hurt, you're told there's something wrong with you and the way you're supposed to be feeling it.

But that's how YOU feel. How can someone tell you what emotions should be going through your body? As we know from Thank You for Not Wasting My Time, emotions tell you everything you need to know about yourself, and they're personal to YOU.

And while we're talking about sensitivity, let's get one thing straight. Sensitivity is a superpower. It means you can read people and situations, you can self-reflect, think and feel deeply, and consider someone else at the same time as yourself. It's the "taking things personally" part that gets confused in there. So, you're not too sensitive. You're sensitive. Embrace it. And you took whatever they said personally because when someone puts you down, how can't you take it personally?! They said it, and it was to you, a person.

We'll be covering how to not take things personally later. But in the meantime, when someone says you're "too", one other response is, of course a genuine, "I’m too ___ for you? Thank you for letting me know we're not a good fit. Thank you for not wasting my time."